Monday, May 12, 2008

#99 - The RoBear Berbils

The RoBear Berbils have made the list not because of any particular robotic prowess (in fact they are quite peaceful), but because of their sheer level of complexity. While on the surface, the RoBear Berbils of Thundercats fame may seem like a simple race of robotic bears who try their hardest to help out the vastly superior Thundercats. But within this classification of "robotic bear" one can pinpoint the true complexity of the RoBear race. In order to understand these seemingly simple people, one must examine them for exactly what they are: robots and bears.

Not since the neo-hippie movement combined bad smelling hair, political empowering bumper stickers, and stupid fucking t-shirts has a single group of creatures combined such conflicting qualities. There are peaceful bears and there are peaceful robots, but there are no other documented cases of peaceful robot bears. Even on a high level it just doesn't make sense.

In order to examine the complexity of the RoBears, we must examine their unique heritages separately, much like the American people separate the whiteness and blackness of Barack Obama. Citing the conversation between Ron Burgundy's dog and an angry bear at the zoo, we can confidently state that bears are a proud race. ("We bears are a proud race.")

Strangely enough, the combination of the pride of the bear and the enigmatic, unpredictable nature of robotkind yields an even more puzzling anomaly: subsistence farming. The RoBears maintain their vast orchards to sustain their life. But for a bear or a robot, why does life even need to be sustained if not to conquer other life?

This is especially vexing when you note that robots are predisposed to destruction, domination, and mind control. Aside from the fact that they speak like an Allspark infused Casio keyboard, the RoBears do not show any robotic traits. How could such a deadly combination of qualities create a peaceful Smurf-style Marxist commune full of farmers and craftsmen who are sometimes even subject to slavery via trickery?

This is a question that has haunted scholars of bears and robots for an eternity. We may never understand the RoBear Berbils.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck you and and your insipid commentary on the Robear Buttfucks. Diiiiie!

Anonymous said...

So were they cyborgs? Highly evolved bears? Robots imbued with very bear-like traits? Why did they have to eat at all?

Anonymous said...

You know, they were never actually shown EATING anything... my theory is that they are solar powered and merely grow the food for others.

Dynamite Prime said...

Must have been some glich in the programming because who would make a robotic bear without making it a vicious killing machine. This requires more research.

tregus tha telekinesian said...

We must remember the Berbils were
part; of The Thundercats tv series.
The show was about the T'CATS.
(Mumra/second runner up.)
Ro-Bear Berbils were add ons,throw
ins.(VERY INTERESTING throw ins.)
They shouldn't be a brain sore; they are the "Sothing time-out" of this usually dramatic program .
And in that they are Unique, and
should be thought of as such .
-Trge